From time to time somebody asks me to come and talk about it. I have never asked anybody if I can, and I would not know how to go about it, but when I am asked I go.
I will say at the outset that I am not a speaker. I have a way of doing it now that seems to work, which is forty minutes of photographs in the order they were taken, then questions. The questions are the better half and I have stopped being surprised by them.
The talks are set out below with what were asked at each. I have also put down what happened with the projector, because something always does, and it has got to the point where I allow twenty minutes for it before I start.
Attendance. 31 (22 expected)
Fee. None. A tin of biscuits.
The projector. The hall's projector would not take the lead off my laptop, the plug being the wrong sort altogether. Gary has since explained the two sorts to me over the telephone. I had the photographs printed out at the chemist's as a precaution, so they went round the room hand to hand and it took longer but I would say it went better for it. You cannot pass a projection round.
Questions.
How do they get there. This is always the first one and I gave the answer I always give, which is that I do not know and I try not to guess.
A lady asked whether I had ever found money in one. I have not. She seemed to think I would have done.
First one I ever did. I were on at seven and we were out by half eight, and I did not eat my tea until I got home.
Attendance. 40 or thereabouts
Fee. None. Lunch was offered and I had the soup.
The projector. It worked, but the blinds in that room do not close properly and the screen were washed out for the first half hour until the light went. I could see the photographs and they could not. I described them instead, which I would not recommend.
Questions.
A gentleman asked why I do not simply pick them up. I set out my reasons. He were not convinced and said so, and we left it there.
Somebody asked about the wellingtons and my reservations about them, and that took the rest of the time. I had not expected the wellington question at a lunch.
A serious room. They ask questions like men who have run departments.
Attendance. 9
Fee. None. Tea and a biscuit provided.
The projector. There is no projector at the library. The photographs were to go on their computer off a memory stick and the computer would not read the stick, or would not read the sort of file I had put on it, I could not say which. We looked at them on my laptop screen with the chairs pulled round in a half circle, which at nine people is manageable.
Questions.
One of the nine were a lady whose brother-in-law lost a boot off a roof rack on the A62 in about 1994, and she wanted to know if it were in the register. I explained that the register starts in October 2009. She asked me to check anyway and I did when I got home, out of respect, and it is not.
It were a wet day and I would say the nine were mostly in out of the rain. They stopped to the end all the same.
Attendance. 60 odd. They put out more chairs.
Fee. None. Petrol were offered and refused, it being four mile.
The projector. The bulb went about twenty minutes in, with a noise. We carried on with the lights on and no pictures for the second half, and I am told by two people afterwards that it were better that way, which I have chosen to take as it were meant.
Questions.
Somebody at the back brought up the Heckmondwike. I said what I always say, which is that it is unconfirmed and I do not discuss unconfirmed sightings in detail, and I moved it along. Two people came and found me after.
A man asked whether I have ever been followed or had any bother out on the tops on my own. I have not.
The biggest room I have done and the nearest to home. Our Linda came to that one and sat at the side.
Attendance. 26
Fee. None. A tin of biscuits, the same sort as Slaithwaite.
The projector. My laptop went to sleep every seven minutes throughout. I had not turned the power saving off and I did not know how to, so a lady on the second row who had been a secretary came up and did it in about four seconds and sat back down.
Questions.
How do they get there. Then a follow up from the same lady asking whether I had a theory I were not saying, and I told her honestly that I have several and that is exactly why I do not say them.
Somebody asked whether there are more shoes now than there were in 2009. I said I could not tell them whether there are more shoes, only that there are more entries, and that is a different thing and I am careful about it.
First one after the gap. I were rusty for the first ten minutes.
Attendance. About 200 went past the table. Four stopped.
Fee. £15 travel offered. Declined.
The projector. There were no projector. There were a trestle table and a chair and everybody else had a pull up banner with their firm's name down it. I had the folder and a tin of pens.
Questions.
A lad asked whether it pays. I told him it does not and that I work three days at a builders' merchant, and he wrote summat down, though I could not tell you what.
A lass asked if I were on TikTok. This were 2023 and I were not.
They had me down as footwear repair and I did not realise until I were stood there. I had two options, which were to go home or to stop, and I stopped and talked to whoever come by about the register. The four who stopped were interested. One of them took a pen.
Attendance. 34
Fee. None.
The projector. The projector worked but it were showing everything green, one of the three colours having gone somewhere. Nobody could fix it and I said we would carry on, as a good half of my photographs are moorland and it mattered less than it might have. The reservoir ones were also green. The trainers were green an' all, which did lose summat.
Questions.
A lady asked whether I ever go back to the same one. I explained about return visits and about noting when a shoe has gone, and she said that were the sad part, and I said I had not thought of it that way and I have thought about it a fair bit since.
Somebody asked whether I would ever put it in a book. I said the website is the book.
Attendance. 43
Fee. None. A tin of biscuits and a jar of piccalilli that somebody had made.
The projector. The projector worked. It worked from the moment I plugged it in, and it worked all the way through, and I had allowed twenty minutes for it not to. I have put that down here because it is the only time and it ought to be recorded.
Questions.
How do they get there.
A gentleman who has been to two of these now asked whether I have ever thought of stopping. I said I have not, and then I stood there a moment because I had answered it faster than I meant to.
The most recent. The piccalilli were very good and I have said so to the lady who made it.
None at present.
I am available if anybody wants one. Terms on request, which is my way of saying there are no terms. A tin of biscuits is not required and has never been asked for.
I do not travel past Halifax. That is not a rule I made for any particular reason, it is simply where the going gets to be an evening out rather than an hour, and I like to be back for the news.
There has been some talk of doing one over Holme way at some point. Nowt is fixed and I would not want to say more than that. If it comes off I will put it on here.
If you want one, write to me at keithplimmer1963 [at] hotmail.co.uk and say when and where and I will tell you straight whether I can do it.
Best wishes, Keith.